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Phicen Making Van Helsing Figure, But Not The One You’re Thinking Of…

by on 05/22/2015
 

I mean look at it, yikes.

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Let’s just tick off some boxes to attract attention….make the vampire hunter of literature legend a woman, make her figure extremely over the top, add fishnet stockings, and let’s throw some Steampunk in there because the geeks will eat that up too. What’s actually going on is that this is a Van Helsing created by Zenescope.

If you’ve never heard of them before, Zenescope publishes Grimm Fairy Tales, which this Van Helsing came out of. It is a comic book series that has passed 90’s X-Men levels of spinoff numbers and is approaching 80’s Richie Rich levels. Roughly a lowbrow version of Fables (or ABC’s Once Upon A Time), it is a fairy tale world where everybody is a hot chick. Everybody. Van Helsing is a hot chick. The Mad Hatter is a hot chick. Robin Hood is a hot chick–excuse me, “Robyn” Hood (isn’t “Robin” already considered a female name?) I haven’t seen Humpty Dumpty yet, but I’m going to presume she’s a hot chick.

In a comic book industry that’s just beginning to recover from decades of neanderthal writing, the existence and prevalence of Grimm Fairy Tales and its spinoffs is beyond embarrassing. It wasn’t that long ago that DC hired new artists by giving them the assignment of drawing Harley Quinn crying naked in a bathtub, but nowadays we’re getting respectable, realistic heroines like Ms. Marvel and Spider-Gwen that female comic book fans can read without grimacing. The tide is starting to shift, slowly but surely. But since it makes them money, I expect Zenescope to continue on the same shameless path it always has.

Neckbeards around the country can start taking Hot Chick Van Helsing to bed with them this July 31st for around $150.

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